And, then, there were three

I DO know one thing.

If I were told by someone who looked into my eyes while saying it, or wrote to me, “I am thinking about you with sympathy and love, and I am appealing in prayer for relief of your suffering” — my heart and mind would be flooded with the brain chemicals that bond one human to another, I would melt with joy! that another had reached out to me, to make that sacred connection of soul solidarity.

Yes!

The “Thoughts ‘n Prayers” and “My condolences” are the equivalent of doing the culturally-approved minimum to not be considered a social oaf.

Here’s an idea: Next time someone has lost a loved one or tragedy has befallen, and we wish to tell them how we feel — let us borrow those heart-felt words and say them. Or offer them in writing. Make that connection, the real one.

After my father passed so suddenly — I walked into the ice cream shop managed by a large, older lady from Munich whom my father used to chat with in German, and whispered, “Olga….he died.” She gathered me to herself, oblivious of customers, and rocked me where we stood. “My friend!” she murmured. Then whispered, “Mein freund”, as one might soothe a small child.

And, in that moment, there were three of us. -J